if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
