I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
