if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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