He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize