JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
