Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
