he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
