Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
