the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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