so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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