i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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