i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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