So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
