That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
