Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
