Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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