Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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