she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
