I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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