Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
