if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
