direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
