I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
