Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Screwed.edu
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
