i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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