Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am mentally ready for anal.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize