Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
