we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
