i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize