That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
