Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
