ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
