just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
