Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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