Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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