i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
