No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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