We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
