just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
