Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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