why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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