Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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