Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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