why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
