I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
