Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
