he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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