I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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