shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When are your genitals available?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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