I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
