you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
