It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
