my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
