Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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