Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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