I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
