Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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