there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
