your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
