Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
